Dear Marie,
I have a two-year-old female, Heinz-57, medium sized, shelter dog who may as well be my child. I spoil her rotten, but she deserves it. She is sweet, well-behaved, gentle, and completely trustworthy. I have had her almost a year now and I can’t say anything bad about her. Recently I was mentioning to a coworker that my dog sleeps on my bed. She told me I was making a big mistake and setting my dog up for serious behavioral issues, especially since it is a shelter dog with an unknown background. I like to think of myself as a competent dog owner, but I’ve never heard of this before. All my life I’ve allowed my dogs to sleep on my bed. So is this potentially a problem? — Maddie, Buena Park
Dear Maddie,
A lot of dog trainers will insist that you should never have your dog sleep on your bed with you because that will send the m
essage that you and the dog are equals.
In some cases, I agree with that. For example, I have had several rescued German Shepherds in my life and they all needed much more routine and discipline than other dogs I’ve had in order to be well-adjusted and completely trustworthy. So even though they were all major “lap-dogs” (though only their heads and front paws actually fit in my lap), they never slept in my bed. They had their own beds on the floor at the foot of my bed and that worked well for all of us.
But I’ve had other dogs that were allowed to sleep on my bed. None of them were breeds that needed my authority to be reinforced so behavioral issues weren’t a concern.
My daughter’s Pomeranian slept with my husband and me every night until my daughter got married and took him to her new home. Even when he comes back for extended-stay “baby” sitting, he sleeps with us. He is one of the most docile, mild-mannered dogs I’ve ever known and he will never try to assert himself with anyone.
You really need to decide what’s best on a case-by-case basis and that sounds like what you are doing already. You’ve had your dog for a year and describe her as well-behaved and gentle. If she hasn’t shown signs that she is testing your authority, then this is a non-issue.
Of course, you should practice obedience training regularly and make sure that she is not food-aggressive or possessive of toys, etc. If you can take her food bowl away while she is eating, or pick up one of her toys without incident, then you’ve got a dog who trusts you and respects your position as “mom” which is really what most domesticated dogs do anyway.
Problems only occur when someone does not properly socialize and train dogs that are more prone to unacceptable behaviors. Rottweilers, Chow Chows, Akitas, pit bulls, German Shepherds, are a few of the breeds that need to know you’re in charge and you have everything under control. The main reason for this stems from their own insecurity. If dogs like these feel that no one is really keeping the pack safe, then they can’t relax.
This increased tension and anxiety will lead them to believe that they need to rise to the occasion, which means they are going to show their human roommates that they have what it takes to be the leader of the pack. That’s never a good thing. Consequently, they must be shown in a manner that is crystal clear, that their people have control of everything—and unfortunately, that includes the bed.
There are always exceptions. I’ve known pit bulls and Akitas that are major pushovers. I’ve also known little cockapoos that are completely out of control. Ultimately, if your dog knows her manners and what is expected of her, sleeping on your bed isn’t going to change that. Continue to spoil her, because as a previous shelter dog, she does indeed deserve it.
You can reach Marie via e-mail at jefari@fea.net
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Read more of Marie’s columns at her Pet Tale’s page.
And there, under the picnic table, is the dog … eating your prized rack of ribs.
“We’re looking for stories that are a little bit different, with people who are interesting and have a dog with an issue we haven’t dealt with before,” said Sheila Emery, a producer with the show.
